It was December 2015 and I was in big trouble.
I was in my corporate marketing job and was able to work from home on a Friday. I used to meet my friend on a Friday morning before work to go for a run together in the forest, grateful for the time in nature away from the M25 mayhem and the intense pressure in the office. All she did was say “morning!” and I was in floods of tears. Bless her, she was amazing, gentle with me and encouraged me to go to my GP. I normally wouldn’t have gone and just pushed on through, not wanting to make a fuss and definitely not wanting to admit I wasn’t coping. I really did see it as a weakness back then. Afterall, I was the strong one, the confident one, that one that stood up and spoke out; the unafraid warrior. What I remember so clearly is that I didn’t want to go home as I felt genuinely fearful. Because that’s where my laptop was and I knew there were difficult emails in there I just couldn't cope with. It seems strange from where I am today because I could easily deal with it now.
But that’s the thing about burnout, it renders you unable to do the things you usually do with ease. Because you’re exhausted from chronic stress and that creates heightened anxiety, depression, irrational thoughts, insomnia and a myriad of physical symptoms.
I went to the see the Dr because I was desperate and needed some sort of help. I held it together (still trying to be strong!) until she asked me what was wrong. I just sat there and sobbed.
She was so kind and patient with me. Eventually I just squeaked out that I wasn’t coping. She signed me off work for a month and we made appointments for me to see her every couple of weeks. She really was wonderful and I know the angels sent me to her.
That day felt very dark but as I look back nearly 8 years on I see how full of light it was. Best day of my life, you could say as it was the first step in breaking the burnout cycle of habits I'd created.
But then it happened AGAIN in January 2022.
This time I knew what it was at least and was so grateful I had my spiritual practice to lean on and help me. What I realised then was the safety in surrendering to a higher power and allowing the universe to support me. My greatest fear had been realised as a self-employed business owner - I couldn't work so how was I going to support myself financially? What unfolded was truly magical and set me on a much better, easier and even happier path. I asked the universe to step in and show me the way.
Three truly miraculous events took place that changed my life!
1. An old client I hadn't heard from in 2 years reached out and asked if she could pay for a year's worth of sessions.
2. I joined a group call with Kyle Gray along with 300 other people and he chose me to coach. In just 10 mins he helped shift my perspective and feel brave enough to forge a new path.
3. A new client arrived and signed up for my 12 month premium programme without me doing a launch event.
These 3 events, combined with my spiritual practice, allowed me to finally break the burnout cycle I'd been living in, I shifted the way I was working and thinking, forged new friendships, reinforced my boundaries and deepen the relationship with my soul self. That allowed me a greater sense of:
Freedom
Inner peace and calm
Trust in myself and others
Safety in vulnerability
Being present
Self belief and confidence
Success can be achieved my own way
It's given me permission to be myself and blaze a trail at my own pace. I've stopped comparing myself to others and instead found inspiration amongst my peers and mentors. I've stopped pushing myself to do more, be more, give more.
The trust I've built in myself is stronger than ever now, because I truly feel supported, seen and valued for who I am, how I help people through my purpose which is:
To help unify humanity and nature by helping people to love themselves unconditionally and awaken, confidently, to their gifts and abilities through deep healing and soul level awareness.
One of my greatest lightbulb moments was being able to embody the belief that the universe is my source of income and that is infinite. It really set me free to receive money from limitless opportunities. I literally got out of my own way!
Comments